Humans are social beings. As a result, no one wants to feel excluded from things or activities. It’s possible to feel out of place in life; for instance, when your friend hosts a barbecue and invites your other friends but not you. Definitely, you’re likely to feel out of place when the other invitees force you to attend the barbecue. The same applies to exiting a toxic relationship or quitting a job that you don’t feel comfortable or happy doing.
The lack of alignment makes you feel like you’re wasting your energy, time, and resources. The self-doubt, anxiety, and worry can be almost paralyzing. The feelings can suddenly flood your mind with curiosities and negative thoughts. You may begin to wish you had made other choices.
Feeling out of place is scary; however, it’s not permanent. The following tips and tricks will help you whenever you feel that way.
Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings
Some people have a good stable job with a nice salary and work environment. However, they feel lost and unhappy with their work. The only solution in such a situation is to explore options that make you feel fulfilled.
In another example, you might be in an unhealthy or toxic relationship but afraid of quitting because you’re so scared of being alone. But admitting that you should separate from the person is quite a big challenge.
Such realizations may take time because they’re difficult. Even though you should release the shame or embarrassment around your fear and confusion, people are creatures of comfort. That is the reason for the internal resistance you experience when your inner self and comfort are out of alignment.
The fact that you feel out of place, confused, or lost is the first step toward getting on track. But it needs bravery and honesty to admit that, so you should commend yourself for taking the first step.
Thinking deeply about when this feeling began can help you move forward. But you need to understand where you are moving forward from. Writing is an incredibly excellent tool when you use it strategically. Prompt journaling can help you direct your attention very efficiently to some areas about why you feel out of place. Some of the areas you can tackle include:
- I began noticing some changes when…
- I feel full of life or excited when…
- I enjoy…
- Some of the activities that make me feel good include…
- I want to feel…
- I deserve…
Writing such information can help you reduce stress and manage anxiety. It allows you to express yourself when overwhelmed by emotions. You can prioritize your fears or concerns by giving yourself space for self-talk and a judge-free zone where you need to capture the negative behaviors and thoughts.
Maintain a Good Support System
A support system is vital when you’re feeling out of place. It helps you identify when, how, and why you got off track. Having an objective and eternal source can help you interpret your findings and discover yourself.
You can talk to trusted friends and close family to whom you feel safe to confide. You can listen to their honest opinion and make the needed changes. Indeed a good support system can help you acknowledge what you’re avoiding. A good therapist, experienced mentor, or a reputable coach can help you organize your thoughts as well as create an action plan.
Gratitude incredibly changes someone’s brain. Spending a lot of time on positive things can lead to increased optimism. It can make you feel better about your life, reduce doctor’s visits and increase the desire to exercise.
You don’t need to ignore the situation you’re facing in exchange for gratitude. In other words, you shouldn’t sweep things under the rug. Rather you should understand your surrounding and present experience in order to identify reasons why you should be grateful.
Some of the reasons you should be grateful include a delicious meal, a sunny day, waking up, a measure of health, etc. Indeed you need magnanimous things for you to be thankful. You can show your appreciation for small, simple, and unique experiences. The goal is to reorient your thoughts in order to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
Envisage Where You Want to Be
Now that you know how you feel, how it all started, you have a good support system and are always grateful, it’s the time to start imagining where you want to be. You need to dream big and document your dreams. Get bold with your goals which can be as low as 2 weeks, 1 month, or as high as 6 months or a year.
Write down what you want your life to look like in the future. You can create your own vision board because externalizing your ideas gives you something to refer to when you’re sad, confused, or lost.
You can also not forget something you have written down, and it serves as an anchor when things get tough. Further, with a clear vision, you can create a plan of action that will help you take the necessary steps toward getting back on track.
Getting back on track is not easy and has no shortcut. The only solution is to look at yourself and identify what led to such feelings.
Shifting your focus and nurturing a desire to reconnect with your inner self can help you handle the feeling of being out of place in life. You must also be willing to work and believe that you deserve happiness, peace, joy, and satisfaction.